We're Back And Growing Strong!teach To Be Happy

Posted : admin | On 20-04-2021



Susie Dent didn’t take naturally to television, or so she thought. The word wizard has been the resident lexicographer on gameshow Countdown for nearly 30 years now, more than enough time for the nerves to settle into comfortable sparring with co-hosts Jimmy Carr and Rachel Riley.

But on that first episode she was “frozen with fear” she says in this week’s Letter To My Younger Self. The etymological entertainer tells The Big Issue’s Jane Graham about growing up, finding her love of words, and the dangers of getting stuck in one’s own head.

  1. Natasha Mascarenhas is a reporter at TechCrunch covering early stage startups and venture capital trends. She also tracks the different networks that play into founder success, from loneliness to.
  2. This week brings nearly all of our normal rhythm back into play, with the added wrinkle of it also being the last week the college crew is home. There’s a tinge of sadness at picking up the threads of outside lessons and such these dwindling days of our time together, but this is how the calendar fell and well, it is what it is.
  3. At the same time, however, it's important to think rationally. Sometimes detailed, false accusations ruin lives - it's not fair to immediately take any accusation as fact or immediately deny it. The Pitchfork article said there are well over a hundred pages to the report - that's a lot of info we're not aware of.
  4. In order to get back together you will need to see your ex face to face. It is in fact impossible to seal the deal and get back into a relationship from distance, over the phone or on skype! It is important for you to know and understand this concept because it will enable you to plan accordingly and look to organize a way for you to see each.

My main interest when I was 16… well, certainly not boys. I went to a convent, which was all-girls, and I didn’t have any brothers so I felt slightly intimidated by boys. They were a complete mystery to me. I found them kind of noisy and not people I wanted to mix with. Which is very strange.

I loved music and I was quite interested in clothes. But I was definitely nerdy as well, before it became fashionable to be a geek. I was really into my work. My parents divorced when I was 13 and I’d always lived mostly in my head, but that was the moment when I decided I needed a safe space for all my worries. And it was very obvious where that space was going to be – in work and in words. I think I escaped the real sadness of it that way. It was a huge coping mechanism for me. I still find that being a word detective and trying to unravel the words people choose, it takes me away from everything.

When I was about 13 I felt really sad and wrote a secret diary about feeling awful and not seeing the point of life. I definitely didn’t feel suicidal but I was very, very melancholy. But by the time I was 16 I think I was a lot more upbeat, quite happy in myself. I’ve always enjoyed my own company, and I think I’d got through it all by then.

If you find something you are passionate about I’m not sure it really matters if you don’t have lots of friends. I was always an eavesdropper and an observer, and I think to be a linguist you have to have an ear out, always listening to things that people are saying or writing. I remember my mum saying “Oh my giddy aunt” and thinking “Who? What aunt? What does she mean?” And I’d jot it down in my notebook to investigate.

Whatever else is going on, there is apricity in abundance today (the sense-hugging warmth of the sun on a winter’s day).

Relationships teach us as much about ourselves as they do the other person. Given this was your first serious relationship, you had no other means by which to compare.

— Susie Dent (@susie_dent) November 4, 2020

The biggest things in my life have come to me by chance. I joined Oxford University Press when I came back from studying in America [a masters degree in German at Princeton University New Jersey] and I didn’t know they had an arrangement with Countdown and ITV. That wasn’t on my radar at all.

When I was asked to do it I said no quite a few times and then, thank god, my boss insisted that I go and audition. I’m so grateful to him for that. I think the younger me would be really grateful to know that somehow fate has swung in my favour on a few occasions. And that I’ve been able to indulge this passion all my life.

I’ve always been quite happy below the radar so I definitely didn’t jump at the chance of going on TV. Also, I just assumed that I would be absolutely rubbish at it. And in fact the evidence for me being right about that is there on YouTube, where you can see my fairly rubbish first performance. I was frozen with fear, and that made me look slightly arrogant. I really wasn’t, I was just so nervous. I barely moved my head.

I think the big blight on my life has been worry. About health, money, my kids, those kind of things, as [Countdown co-presenter] Rachel Riley will tell you, because she’s brilliant at telling me to stop. But I do let worries spiral.

As ever with me, it’s all internalised so I don’t really talk about it very much. But I really wish I didn’t have that. I feel like I’ve wasted so much effort and energy and brain power on worrying that something bad is going to happen. Sometimes living in your head isn’t always a good thing if your head is absolutely full of anxiety.

Strangely, I didn’t take any time at all to get used to being a mother. It felt so instinctive and spontaneous, the whoosh people talk about. Motherhood is definitely the best thing I’ve ever experienced and, probably the best thing I’ve ever done in my life. I’m so lucky because I know not everyone has that. It’s a real privilege to feel that immediate bond.

If anything, I probably feel it too strongly because it makes me want to protect my girls from absolutely everything. I realise that I’ve got to start letting go. It’s been a bit easier since my eldest went to university. She’s completely independent now, and I don’t know what she’s up to day to day, even though we talk a lot. So I’ve kind of navigated that one and I think I’ve got to the other side, which is good. But it’s a really tough thing to have to do.

If I could tell my younger self one thing it would be, don’t worry about what people think. I’m hugely self-conscious and always have been. I hate being photographed with a passion. Google Images is awash with horrendous pictures of me or of me running away from the camera. It’s something I always say to everybody else and never take my own advice on, that it doesn’t matter if other people criticise you.

I was quite nervous about going on Twitter, for example, because I immediately thought I was going to be trolled. I remember really steeling myself to look at notifications. But actually I tend to get followed by people who are equally passionate about words and that’s brilliant because it’s enabled me to have this real connection with some lovely people I never would have met. But I had this fear that people were going to think badly of me.

There’s so many downsides to social media but one of the really good things about it is that it enables people to be themselves and to celebrate being different, not being run of the mill, and not fitting into a norm. I think it’s brilliant for people who want to find other less conventional people who are like them.

We're Back And Growing Strong Teach To Be Happy Pdf

When it comes to things like comedy – 8 out of 10 Cats Does Countdown – I’d tell myself you don’t have to try to be someone you’re not. In the beginning I was really worried that I wasn’t funny so what was I doing on the show? In the actual recording the audience get 40 minutes of really, really funny quips from the comedians and they’ll be laughing their heads off, before Jimmy [Carr] even introduces me. And I used to think, oh god,

I can’t let the humour drop, I’ve got to be funny. And it took me a while to realise that actually, that’s not what I’m there for. I’m not funny and that’s fine. I’m normally only funny by mistake.

If I could go back and re-live any moment in my life, a moment of real, real happiness… I was in New York taking the Staten Island Ferry, and I was on my own. I saw the Statue of Liberty, it was incredibly sunny, the sea was sparkling and I had everything I needed. I felt totally free of any worry as to what might happen; everything was perfect in that moment. I haven’t thought about that moment for years but that’s what suddenly sprang to mind. The swish of the water, the sun on my skin, the chatter of people around me – I just thought, yeah, this is where I want to be.

Word Perfect: Etymological Entertainment for Every Day of the Year
by Susie Dent is out now (John Murray Press, £14.99) Interview: Jane Graham @Janeannie

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Going through a breakup while in a long distance relationship can be very difficult to cope with; the distance that separates you from your ex either during the actual separation or in the days and weeks that follow can make it even more excruciating.

No breakup is easy but the feeling of being physically far away from the person that you love and knowing that they are no longer yours can make some of the negative emotions even more intense. You must realize that all hope is not lost after a long distance break up and that in general it is possible to get back with your ex following a long distance relationship.

This process can be a bit more difficult than if you had the opportunity to still interact with him or her face to face; however it is important for you to know that if you put the right actions in place and if you are in the right frame of mind, you can get back with your ex following a long distance relationship.

My passion and full time job as a coach specialized in helping people get back with their ex is to provide you with tangible solutions that you can implement right away in your daily life!

I have garned considerable experience while helping people from all over the world, and this article will showcase what you can do to make things right when coming out of a long distance relationship!

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Work on yourself first and feel better to quickly get over a long distance break up

Many times people associate their sadness or state of depression with the fact that they have lost someone that was dear to them.

It is therefore easy to believe that you will suddenly feel better and be in a happier place as soon as you will be able to get them back into your life. This preconceived idea leads people to approach the process of getting back with an ex following a long distance relationship in the wrong way!

The truth is that you must first feel better about yourself and start to have a more positive outlook before you can get them back into your life.

No one wants to be seduced or won back by someone that is depressed and needy.

You must display enthusiasm, have energy and interesting projects in order to make your ex reconsider their decision to breakup.

So your first actions should not be geared towards your ex but rather towards yourself in order to figure out the best way for you to get out of this funk on your own, completely independently from your ex!

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The best way to accomplish that is to be active, to set daily goals for yourself and to continuously push your comfort zone when socializing with friends or by forcing yourself to meet new people.

Analyze your mistakes when breaking up long distance

You will also need to start to analyze the mistakes that were made after breaking up long distance.

It can be done while looking into ways to snap out of the state of depression that you may find yourself in, and after having mentally processed that your overall well-being as nothing to do with the process of getting back with your ex.

Long distance relationships can be challenging waters to navigate for anyone, mainly because you need to find ways to maintain intimacy and a healthy balance with your significant other while not being physically together.

The three most common mistakes made during long distance relationships are the following: The first is not having an end date in sight regarding when you will once again be together permanently.

This can put a lot of pressure on both parties because it can feel like the long distance is everlasting. It is important to have an end in sight as a commitment to each other; and to have a common goal that you are building towards.

The second mistakes that many people make is being too needy or jealous which ends up pushing your partner away.

You too may have asked a million and one question every time your ex goes out, and genuine interest in what your partner is doing can quickly turn into obsession and a feeling of being controlled by the other party.

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The last mistake that I commonly encounter is not being able to manage the transition period following a long distance relationship; when two people actually have to be together and share a living space.

Being in a long distance relationship is one thing; seeing your partner day in and day out is another!

Regardless, if you went through a breakup it means that you most likely made mistakes.

If you are truly hoping to get back with your ex after a long distance relationship, you will need to identify the mistakes that you’ve made and come up with tangible solutions to make things right.

It is the only way to truly be in the best possible circumstances to prove to an that you can make them happy!

You have to be willing to do the work in order to showcase a new found perspective! Through your actions you can in fact that past issue can be overcome and that you can be happy together as a couple.

Seek long distance relationship breakup advice to get back with your ex

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In most cases long distance relationships that don’t end up working out can still be salvaged, because i often only takes a compromise or two to make things work. That’s why I urge you to reach out to meif you haven’t done so already in order for us to work together.

Why not taken advantage of my expertise and success and work with a relationship expert to make things work in your love life?

I’ve seen some relationships where all that needed to be done was making a commitment to spend more time together in order for the relationship not to run out of steam!

This is especially true for long distance relationships that drag out over a very long period of time or when the couple can only come together a couple times per year on average.

Other long distance relationships are a lot more difficult to salvage.

For instance when two people are entrenched in their respective communities for example or when their professional aspirations and their relationship can’t seem to align.

The love that you may have for one another may push you both to stay together longer than you really should; but in the end it takes a major compromise from one of you to really make things work.

We're Back And Growing Strong Teach To Be Happy Youtube

The person making the sacrifice also needs to make it willingly and truly accept what they will be giving up.

Because if they don’t it can lead to resentment as soon as certain issues arise in the relationship.
The person making the compromises can often feel that their counterpart is not willing to make sacrifices of their own for the relationship.

So make sure that you take some time to ask yourself the right questions and to see if you are really willing to make the necessary compromises to enable your relationship to truly flourish.

Stay in touch with your ex following a long distance relationship breakup

Long distance relationships are peculiar because it is very easy to fall out of touch with your ex.

It is therefore very important to make considerable efforts to stay in touch with your ex immediately following a long distance relationship breakup.

The trick will be to ensure that are not being too needy by not looking to convince your ex to get back together every time you speak to one another.

Although it can be difficult and even painful to stay in touch with your ex following a long distance relationship, it is absolutely crucial in your quest to get back together. You will use these interactions to showcase your change and to prove how attractive you can be.

Know that as long as you maintain a healthy dialogue with your ex, you will have the opportunity to seduce them again or get back together down the road; but it all starts with your ability to speak to them on a somewhat regular basis, without being too pushy or emotional.

A face to face meeting is the way to seal the deal after a long distance breakup

In order to get back together you will need to see your ex face to face.

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It is in fact impossible to seal the deal and get back into a relationship from distance, over the phone or on skype!

It is important for you to know and understand this concept because it will enable you to plan accordingly and look to organize a way for you to see each other after a long distance breakup.

If possible, it is best to meet in on neutral grounds, not in your city or theirs. This will reinforce the notion of change that you will have been working to showcase.

Furthermore it will enable you to create new energies or a new dynamic instead of finding yourself in the same place; which could lead one or both of you to associate past issues to the current outlook.

We're Back And Growing Strong Teach To Be Happy Quotes

Make sure to meet in a neutral environment to maximize your chances of success

If it impossible to meet in a neutral environment, it’s best for you to go to their city in most cases or within your ex’s comfort zone rather than the other way around. This will make it easier for you to be in the right environment to get back with your ex.

During this face to face period or date, be prepared to reinforce this notion of change to your ex.
Make them feel like you have really changed and that you can make them happy!

We're Back And Growing Strong Teach To Be Happy Book

If you are successful in conveying a future where both of you can be happy together, with an end in sight to the long distance aspect of your relationship, we are convinced that you will be able to get back with your ex!

Your coach to help you get back with your ex after a long distance relationship,

Adrian
Life Coach, Motivational Speaker & Relationship Expert

I Know We Are Meant To Be!

Bonus: 3 advanced strategies that will turn you into a Human Relationships Expert and give you the tools to get back with the one you love... for good!